Myth, Legend, and Romance

Aunt Linda says: "I must tell you Abby's Extreme Makeover was a huge success. And I must confess, I didn't see that purse in the back winder of that car at Kroger's. Gotta go....customers!"

I forgot, it's winder not window. And I know the "s" at the end of Kroger was just to annoy me. Also on the list: it is JCPenney, again no "s!" Emily said that bugs her, too, when she hears that.

Speaking of Emily, she told me a joke this morning:

A blond walks into a shop and says to the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."
"I'm sorry," he says, "but we don't sell to blondes."
She leaves and dyes her hair red and goes back the next day. Same salesman waits on her, and she tells him that she wants to buy the same TV. Again, he tells her they do not sell to blondes.
"Okay," she thinks, "I'll put on a complete disguise and come back tomorrow."
So, she does just that and no one, not even her own mother, would recognize her now. The SAME salesman approaches her, and when she tells him she wants to buy that particular TV he says, "I'm sorry, but we don't sell to blondes."
"How did you know it was me?" the girls asks.
The salesman replies, "that's not a TV, lady, it's a microwave."

I love you, Emmylou!!

I forgot that I promised to provide lists of junk on which I have opinions. I was going to make it a weekly thing, but have failed to do so. Anyway, here's a list of chores of which I am not particularly fond:
1. Paying bills - come on, paying for electricity after I have used it? It seems like such a waste.
2. Balancing my checkbook - I no longer do this. I have access to my account online now so I just look at it everyday and don't worry about the checkbook. You know the bank is going to be right, not you, so why bother?
3. Cleaning the bathroom. There is baby powder everywhere. I won't even start on how disgusting I think the toilet is.
4. Cleaning the inside of my car. I did this today. I found five McDonald's Happy Meal toys. I don't even have kids. I also had several empty toy packages. A couple of earring cards from one of those earring stores at the Mall. None of these was put in my car by moi. E & R - you know who you are.
5. Returning videos. I try to return them the next day to get that $1.00 credit, but something always comes up and I never get the credit.
6. Returning library books. For every book I buy, I check out three. That is a lot of books every week.
7. Returning anything to anyone. Example: I have Angela's DaVinci Code. She brought it to me while I was home after the surgery, and I was very grateful. And it's a good book. It's very entertaining and suspenseful. So, now I need to return it to her. I know she's not upset that I have it, and she knows she'll get it back, but it's bugging me that it's sitting in my house and I need to take it to her. She's in St. Louis this weekend, so I won't be able to give it back until next week. I guess what annoys me is anything like that which is hanging over my head to complete. I'd love a day, simply twenty-four hours, in which I have nothing to return anyplace or to anyone.
8. Last one: charging my cell phone battery. I hardly ever use my cell, so why is it that when I do the battery is almost run down? Every time.
9. Really the last one: making Abby go do her business in the rain. If you have a dog, especially a little prima-donna-type, you know what I mean. I have to push her out the door and she looks at the yard and she looks at me, and I know she's thinking, "No way. Huh uh. I'll hold it." Then after I've threatened to take her to the pound and she's finally done the only thing I require of her and she comes back in the house, she acts as if I'm cutting off her feet when I try to dry them with a towel. What a princess. I wonder who made her that way.

Don is cooking pasta and shrimp tonight and I'm taking brownies over for belated birthday dessert. I haven't even given him his gifts, yet. I think my mom is coming and bringing bread and wine. I know it'll be good. Don is a good cook.

I'm joining the gym Monday. Phase III of Getting V healthy in '05. (WW, smoking cessation, exercise.) I'll be extremely cranky for a few days. Crankier that usual. I'll post about every ache and pain, so you'll all get to feel it, too. That's what love is...feeling someone else's pain, right?

Love to all, and Reece - hope you had a fun time skating today.

Kiss kiss,
Vanessa