Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Doggies and Kitties

Greetings to all. Hurricane Katrina really left a mess, and I hope you all are willing to donate a little cash to the American Red Cross for relief to her victims. There are so many homeless people right now and they could use our help. Go the if you'd like to donate, and do it soon.

On a lighter note, I was reminded today of something cute that Reece said last year. When he and Emily got their kitten, Cutie, they weren't sure about its gender. Their mom, Dawn, told them they would let their veterinarian check Cutie and tell them its gender. When Reece relayed this message, he stated, "We're going to take Cutie to the vet and find out if it's a male or an e-mail."

Here are some quotes regarding animals that I think are cute. Love to all.

"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies." -- Gene Hill

"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear." -- Dave Barry

"Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend; inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." -- Groucho Marx

"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs." -- Aldous Huxley

"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down." -- Robert Benchley

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives." -- Sue Murphy

"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves." -- August Strindberg

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation." -- Fran Lebowitz

"Ever consider what dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!" -- Anne Tyler

"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." -- Rita Rudner

"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money." -- Joe Weinstein

"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." -- James Thurber

"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets." -- Nora Ephron

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful." -- Ann Landers

"In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him." -- Dereke Bruce, Taipei, Taiwan

"Of all the things I miss from veterinary practice, puppy breath is one of the most fond memories!" -- Dr. Tom Cat

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." -- Ben Williams

"When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem." -- Edward Abbey

"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does." -- Christopher Morley

"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself." -- Josh Billings

Monday, August 29, 2005

Boring Post For A Boring Weekend

I took a three-day weekend, this past weekend, and stayed home and kept my foot elevated as much as possible. I was hoping that by staying off the broken toe, it would be much better by today. It is somewhat better, but not completely healed. Alas, I must work, so today I trudged out in the rain and almost croaked when I saw the piles and piles of papers stacked, no strewn all about on my desk. No one in that place will take the slightest initiative and do anything for themselves. Well, there is one who will. The rest will not. There was even stuff on my desk to copy. I guess their copying fingers were broken Friday. I maintained my temper, however, and just got busy and tried to get it all done. I will save the killing for another day, like when I have PMS, since I hear that’s a pretty good defense technique my criminal lawyer can use when the time comes.

I watched a lot of DVDs over the weekend. I watched season four of "Sex and the City." It’s the one season of which I’ve seen in its entirety, but I didn’t realize that when I ordered it from my Blockbuster online rental. I’ve not seen seasons 5 nor 6 yet, but will before the year is over. I also watched “The Gift,” starring Cate Blanchett, Greg Kinear, Giovanni Ribisi, Katie Holmes, Keanu Reeves, and Hillary Swank. Billy Bob Thornton wrote it. You would think it would be a great movie with that cast and writer, wouldn’t you? Nope. On a scale of 1 to 10 on the Aunt Vanessa Movie Review Scale, I’d give it a 6, and that’s only because the acting was good. The story was awful. Then I watched “Boys and Girl From County Clare,” and Irish film about competing teams in a traditional Irish music contest. There was one girl in particular who was the protagonist and several boys in the story who were members of the musical bands. It was set in the early sixties. The teams have connections, and there’s ex-lovers, and brothers, and lots of humor, some predictable situations, but I loved it. Of course I have an affinity for ALL THINGS IRISH, so that sways my opinion every single time. I would give it an 8. I also watched “School of Rock,” again, since I still had the DVD from last weekend when Emily was here and watched it with me. I liked it. Although I’m not a huge Jack Black fan, I think surely this film was written specifically for him. I don’t know, maybe he wrote it? Or his best friend? Whatever, it was perfect for him and it was really cute. It held no surprises, but it was terribly enjoyable. It should probably get an 8, also.

I also watched a lot of QVC, which shows how bored I was. Trading Spaces was on TV about forty times, so I watched most of those episodes as well. I didn’t feel like reading at all. I’ve become a slacker about the reading, but will be starting a new one tonight.

Hope Katrina isn’t getting you guys. We’ve had heavy rain all day today, but no storms.

Take care,

Thursday, August 25, 2005

How To Fool Oneself Into Thinking She's Actually Making Some Progress

I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions anymore. I think that in doing so, I was always setting myself up for inevitable failure. This year, I decided to make Birthday Resolutions. My b’day was July 28 and I got around to making the resolutions a couple of days after that, and then I forgot all about them. I found them today on my computer. They were just sitting there, judging me and ready to tell me what a bum I am. So, here they are, with comments:

1. Start exercising. Broken toe? Really good excuse to put this one off indefinitely.

2. Go to bed by eleven every night. Easy one, I do this already. Thought I’d include this one just to make myself feel better.

3. Put all those photos in scrapbooks. I’m thinking about this one, and plan to get on with it after I finish #5.

4. Wash my car inside and out. Never do, hate to do, too hot, broken toe.

5. Start studying for the stupid GRE. Definitely will start doing this Sept. 1. Swear it.

6. Take the stupid GRE. Going to in November. Swear it, too.

7. Get Netflix. Got Blockbuster Online instead, because it was a couple of bucks cheaper. Had it ONE WEEK and they raised their fees to equal Netflix. How about throwing me a bone just once in a great while, huh???

8. Learn how to check the voicemail on my cell phone. Oh, wow, I’ve actually done this one!

9. Hook up the wireless thingie on my internet. First I have to find the box that all this junk is in.

10. Or call my friend, John, and bribe him to do it. Probably will do this after I actually find the box with the software.

11. Cook dinner for my family. Well, everyone’s been on vacation, so I’ll have to get around to this one in the next couple of weeks.

Okay, so. I already do number one, (hee hee, I said I do number one) and I’ve accomplished number eight, so that’s almost twenty percent in less than a month. Not bad for the Procrastinator Princess With the Broken Toe Who Has A Talent For Deceiving Herself.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Woe Is Moi

Unless you enjoy reading about other people's minute problems (compared to all the worlds' problems,) just bypass this blog and go read something much more funny. I'm fixin' to rant a little.

I have been so stressed out this summer at work due to everyone leaving their jobs and having to assume so many more responsibilities. No one wants to read about someone's sucky job, so I hardly ever write about it, but I am so so so sick of the place! However, things are looking up, and within the next few weeks we'll have a new boss in the position full-time, and hopefully have the other position filled. I got to meet the new boss today, and although I am supposed to be impressed, I'm not. She is totally narcissitic and so very overly friendly and freaking perky all the time, that I know she's not sincere. However, fake as she is, she is upbeat, so I'm going to accept it and just get on with it. I can handle it for one more year.

Change of subject: The toe was getting much better until I banged it today and almost vomited from the pain! I have so much I need to be doing, yet I don't feel like doing it 'cause I'm being a baby. wah wah wah Just how long does it have to hurt to walk? I've broken a couple of toes before, but they were "inside" toes, so I could walk without putting as much pressure on them. I didn't realize how much we humans depends on the little stinking pinky digit!

I feel better now.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

It's Raining For The First Time In Over A Month

Emily spent most of last weekend with me, and we had such a good time. We really didn't do all that much, but we managed a little shopping, some Mexican food, some movies, and some chocolate ice cream, so that's a great weekend in my opinion!!

This is the time of year I begin collecting Christmas ideas. The only way I can enjoy the holiday is if I have my shopping finished by the beginning of November. I got a few ideas for Emily and then she mentioned that she wants a metal detector. You know, one of those things you see old men walking around with on the beach. Where on EARTH am I going to find one? I guess I should check before I ask. Also, where am I going to find those elastic sock supporters that she will have to wear when she's walking around searching for buried treasures? Do they come with the metal detectors? I bet they do, since all the old men who have the metal detectors are always wearing them. Whew, that's a relief.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

A Betta Male In A House Of Alpha Females

I was so surprised when my boss, well, since Friday my former boss, gave me a gorgeous royal blue Betta fish. His name is Shakespeare, but he seems to like it when I call him Shakes, so Shakes it is. I placed his new home on a shelf over my kitchen sink and he looks pretty happy. So, thanks, former-boss-now-just-friend Linda, for adding to my animal menagerie, even if he is a man. I'm sure Abby, Roxy, and I will learn to live with that fact!

Welcome, Shakespeare. 8/20/05 Posted by Picasa

Friday, August 19, 2005

Merci Beaucoup

I only had time to post the photo of the candy bucket from Emily and Reece, and not to thank everyone else. So, here goes. Thanks, Angela, for bringing me ICE CREAM - "Death By Chocolate" ice cream no less - last night. And watermelon. It was all very tasty. Thanks to Mom for coming over and taking my dogs out for me. And, thanks to Auntie Linda for offering, TWICE, to bring me dinner. Auntie, we will have to go for a frozen cappucino Sunday afternoon. I know you are missing me.

It really was like Christmas yesterday. I received a hand-knitted scarf from Ms. Cupcake in NY and all this great stuff from my Momster pal in Paris, too. All this on a day that I really, really needed it. It has been a terrible week, with the damned toe and my boss leaving and stuff at work being more stressful than it's ever been. Thanks to all my wonderful friends and family who are really there when I need them, even if I have to sometimes whine to get any attention. Tough girls like me have an underbelly, too, and I'm glad you took notice and pampered me a little bit!

Now THAT'S more like it!! Thanks, Emily and Reece (and Dawn) - you are so sweet! I can't wait to sample all the CANDY.  Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Blue Toes

Toe is broken. Top of foot may have a broken bone, too, and no one has offered to bring me cookies, ice cream, "sick present," or anything that will actually make me feel better.

Monday, August 15, 2005

What A Way To Begin The Week

Three a.m. this morning I woke up and had to go to the bathroom, something I have to do just about every night. I think that’s a sign of aging...sigh. I can do this little task practically in my sleep. This morning, however, I forgot about the furniture close to my bed and crashed into a bench, turning back my little toe. Yeah, it hurt like hell and I hobbled to the bathroom spewing obscenities as fast as they could exit my mouth. I stayed awake for about an hour, trying not to cry. When I woke up at seven I got up and ouch did my toe hurt. Then, of course, I remembered what I had done. My little toe is not so little now. It’s about twice the size as the other one and it’s solid blue. Lovely. I’ve had my foot propped up on a pillow and I’ve been in a Vicodin haze all day. That’s all. I’m about to fall asleep again. Ta Ta

Sunday, August 14, 2005


I am a somewhat organized person. I'm rarely late, I keep track of my appointments on Yahoo calendar, and I have a desk calendar on which I write them, too. In my home I can usually find whatever it is I need without having to tear up an entire room. At work, it is a necessity to stay organized. However, sometimes paperwork, at home and work, gets the better of me. I've found a website that is wonderful help for organizing. It is: - These folks are great. I receive an e-mail every Sunday from them with tips on organization. It only takes a few minutes to read the sections I want and I've put some of the ideas into practice. They even provide a recipe every week. No, I don't work for this company, but I really like it and its newsletter. So, go look at the website. You can thank me later.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Dog Days Of Summer

While my brother and his family are in San Antonio this week for their summer vacation, they left Dooley with a woman who works at their veterinarian’s office. She was to keep him at her house until Wednesday and then she took him to the vet’s to have him neutered. It was a really good idea to do the surgery this week, since it would give Dooley time to recuperate for several days at the animal hospital, and when the family picks him up this coming Sunday, he’ll be perfectly fine. I talked to Emily yesterday and she said Dooley was doing well. Dawn had called to check on him, from San Antonio, and he was recovering nicely. What I think is absolutely brilliant, on my sister-in-law’s part, was having the dog sitter take him to have him neutered. That way, when Dawn goes to pick him up on Sunday, and he tells her what they did to him while she and the family were off having the time of their lives, she can act as surprised as Dooley! She’s off the hook then, and Dooley won’t hold a grudge against his family. Brilliant. I just feel sorry for the dog sitter the next time they try to leave Dooley with her for a week.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Still Not Gathering Any Moss

This was on the internet this morning:

After 43 years of partnership, Keith Richards is still way cooler than Mick Jagger . "Mick has to get up in the morning with a plan. Who he's going to call, what he's going to eat, where he's going to go," the wrinkly Rolling Stones rocker tells Newsweek. "Me, I wake up, praise the Lord, then make sure all the phones are turned off. If we were a mum-and-pop operation, then he'd be Mum."

I saw the Rolling Stones eleven years ago and there was talk THEN about it being the geriatric tour. Not AFTER the concert, however. Those two, as well as Ron Wood and Charlie Watts were going as strong as ever. I hope they're still rocking until they're a hundred.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

You Can't Lock Me In Your Penthouse / I'm Goin' Back To My Plow

I have two tickets to see Elton John in Memphis on November 4. I am about to die already. I have loved Elton since I was, oh, probably 8 years old. I still don’t know the words to lots of the songs I’ve sung of his over the years, however. I just make up my own lyrics and keep on singin’. Oh, sure, I’ve looked up some of the lyrics on and Emily recently told me about a new one,, but as soon as I hear one of the songs, I’m back to my made-up words. I have memories associated with so many of his songs, I couldn’t list them all if I wanted to. "Croccodile Rock" was our dance audition song for cheerleading tryouts in the ninth grade. "Philadelphia Freedom" kept me company on a portable radio as I sat in the back of the Winnebago on the way to Disney World one summer. “Your Song” or whatever its name is, was playing the first time Bubba Carter tried to suck my face off with his huge lips. I think it was the eighth grade. That boy could produce more saliva than anyone I have ever known. He looked like a blond Neanderthal, but he was a football player and his parents were always out of town and he threw the best parties in town. We would start them on a Saturday afternoon and have a rock band in the back yard, and party until the next day. I thought I was Joan Jett. Bubba is now a football coach in Yellville, Arkansas, raising three boys, one of whom is named Mason Dixon Carter. Ya just can’t make up something like that. Yes, I owe a lot of great memories to Elton and if he doesn’t play “Yellow Brick Road” on November 4 in Memphis, TN, he’s going to have to answer to me.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Things I Like About My New Home

Yesterday I did nothing all day. Instead of enjoying it, however, I felt a little guilty. I knew I had a million things I needed to do, but I just did not want to do any of them. So, I snuggled with Abby and Roxy on the big, comfy couch and watched stupid TV programs all day. I didn't even read. This morning I decided that I would be productive, so I took a few photos of my new residence and here they are.

My front porch and my flowers. AND notice there is no skanky, putrid, hag of a neighbor anywhere in sight?!! That's my favorite part about this house! Posted by Picasa

Coming home to these two everyday.  Posted by Picasa

Roxy snuggling in between the pillows on the sofa. That's her favorite spot in the house. Posted by Picasa

Taken from my driveway! It's the equivalent of having your pediatrician right across the street if you have babies! Posted by Picasa

This really cool, old stove. And my telephone/wine center. The glare prevents a good photo of the calendar, but it's an Elvis calendar Emily gave me for Christmas last year.  Posted by Picasa

My classroom, aka dining room, for my ESL classes I'm teaching at night. Posted by Picasa

It is my duty, as an aunt, to provide candy, at all times, for my niece and nephew. I take this duty very seriously. Posted by Picasa

Saturday, August 06, 2005

Admit It - These Are Really Funny

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted"
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.

Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Really Stupid, But I Laughed Out Loud

Things to do at Wal-Mart while waiting to get prescriptions filled:

. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at five-minute intervals.

. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.

. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay-a-way.

. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible.

. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!"

And last but not least:

. Go into a fitting room, shut the door, and wait a while and then yell loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here".

Thanks again, Candee, for making me laugh!

Thursday, August 04, 2005


I finally managed to get my internet connected at home and now I can blog again! I’ve blogged at work a few times in the past, but it’s been so busy there lately I haven’t had time to even read blogs. Emily’s been complaining to me about not writing anything. Moving sucks. Luckily, it was under a hundred degrees last Friday, so my movers and I didn’t pass out. I hated going through all my stuff and packing, of course. I’d lived in my apartment for five years and had plenty o’junk. Also, this move is only for a year, so I intend to leave a lot of stuff in storage. Actually, I’m planning to eliminate a lot of it over the year, however. I figure, hey, if I can live without it for a year, why not chunk it? Except books, of course.

I do love my house and all the extra room I have. Abby and Roxy have a very large back yard and no one comes out and screams at me for letting them take a dump on “her side” of the yard. I’ve been hanging curtains in the kitchen and found that this task is much easier after two really large glasses of wine. (But then, what isn’t?)

Much more later, after I have time to think through some things.