You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.