Fun Times With Brother #2

I have the most hilarious brothers, sometimes. They are always my brothers, but sometimes they are hilarious. For instance, one Christmas, about seven years ago, Don was living in Oxford, MS getting his masters’ and he came to stay with me for the holiday. It’s about a two-hour drive from Oxford to Jonesboro, unless I’m driving, then it’s 2.5 because I like to stop a lot, but after three hours of waiting for him to arrive at my house, I got a little worried. This was before Don had a cell phone, so I couldn’t call him. Finally, after another hour, he arrived. When I opened the door for him, his hair was standing straight up, like Einstein’s and his green eyes were absolutely bugged out to their extreme. I then noticed that his car was parked in my yard, just a foot from my kitchen window, not parked in the driveway. He practically ran inside, holding a beer, and said, "Hey, Sis! I just drove all the way from Oxford without any brakes on my car!" He was so wired he was shaking and moving around like he was trying to be a moving target. I said something like, "WHAT??!!" Then he explained that he got about twenty minutes outside of Oxford and the brakes completely went out on his car. He decided to try to make it home to Jonesboro instead of going back because he didn’t want to be stuck in Oxford for Christmas! The route from Oxford to Jonesboro includes driving through Memphis. That’s a city. Without brakes. I know when he was telling me the terrifying story of how the hell he got to my house safely, I was trying to close my mouth, but my jaw wouldn’t budge. It was slack from shock. I wanted to cry, but I also wanted to knock my little brother in the head with his beer bottle. He then said something like, "I’ve had four beers and I’m as sober as a judge!" I didn’t doubt that at all. Did I mention that this brother has a PhD?