Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Your Hump Day Pick Me Up Is "Wright" Here!

Steven Wright is one of my favorite comedians. He's the one who said, "I once bought some powdered water but didn't know what to add." This morning my uncle Gene (Nuckle Geno) sent me a list of Steven Wright-isms. Here are some of them:

1. I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2. Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3. Half the people you know are below average.
4. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. love this one!
8. If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
9. All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
10. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
11. I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.

Only two more days 'til Friday, so hang in there. I'll write more later.



Elaine said...

My husband is a HUGE fan of SW. But then, he's a semantics whore, so that's the kind of thing he's into.

And yes, I'll adopt you, but only if you'll work for room and board and if I can be the evil step-mom type.

"Cinder-relly, Cinder-relly"
Do you come with singing mice?

Vanessa said...

No singing mice, just a really smart mouth and a bad attitude!