This Time SHE Started It

Yes, another run-in with the toothless, stinking redneck next door. This time I was home at lunchtime and in the backyard with Abby and Roxy and she came out and screamed at me to keep my dogs out of her yard. She then hollered up a storm and spewed expletives like they were goin’ outta style! I maintained a condescending composure the entire time. The worse she acted the “sweeter” I was. It was almost fun, except I don’t need the animosity and confrontation every time I take my dogs out for a poop. I just fired off a letter to the landlady who lives in California. I used lots of really big words, like urinate and defecate, in order to impress upon her that I AM NOT A REDNECK. We’ll see what happens. In the meantime, I’m going to start combing the papers for a new place to live. Shit. (sorry, Emily)