Warning: The Following Is SO NOT PC, Even The Most Callous Will Be Offended

Just in case you were harboring any illusions that my family uses its modicum of intelligence for stimulating conversation, I will now shatter that belief.

I was in the car with my brother, David, and Reece and Emily, last night. David was driving me home after we’d been to dinner and had done a little shopping. Either Reece or Emily called the other one a “retard” and David said, “Oh, no, we no longer make ‘retard’ jokes. There will be no more talk of anyone needing to ride the short bus or having the i.q. of a marshmallow.” I felt a little impressed that my brother was becoming an enlightened individual, and I asked, “Why, Dave?” He responded, “Dawn and I don’t want our grandkids to be retards. Of course, we now have nothing to talk about.” “There’s always that other topic that’s a favorite with our family,” I said. Dave replied, “Toilet humor? Oh, yeah, that’s right. The family conversation has been saved.” We then rode to my house with looks of relief on all of our faces.