Monday, December 05, 2005

Things That Are Pissing Me Off As I Try To Get In The Happy Christmas Mood

Last Thursday night was the night our department decided to host its Christmas party. It’s called a Work Party, which I think is an oxymoron. Since I don’t like morons, I chose to skip the party and have one of my own at Target. I just don’t understand the whole concept of the Work Party. It’s a bunch of people who are not friends, nor are they related. They are forced together for eight hours each day to do something they don’t particularly like, simply for a paycheck, and yet, in December they all decide that they are FRIENDS!! and need to buy a gift and have a party. Hey, bosses, why don’t you just give us the money you spend on these parties and we can buy gifts for people we actually care about, not some person about whom we know nothing other than what she eats for lunch.

Saturday morning I woke up early, with the aid of my alarm clock, and grabbed my shopping list and took off for Wal-Mart. I hate that place. Sadly, we have few choices in this town when it comes to shopping for everything you need in one place. I wanted to get to the store early to beat the crazy Christmas shoppers and buy a few gifts and some things for some baking I’m planning to do this month. I went to the electronics department in search of a particular gift that I knew Wal-Mart would have. I could not find the gift anywhere. I asked for help. I got these blank looks from the two pimples behind the counter. One of them slurred something about not knowing where they had moved the display and the other one concentrated on the boogers in his nose. Okay, I thought, I’ll just drive across town to Target where I know this gift is and I’ll never come back to Wal-Mart again as long as I live. (I say this to myself almost every time I go to Wal-Mart, not just at Christmastime, but come on! This is a very popular item. Wal-Mart-Ass should have it in December.) After I’d loaded my cart with everything else on my list, I went to the Customer Service department and asked them if they would locate this item for me. Twenty minutes later, and forty dollars of extra shopping later, I had said item in my angry little hand! From now on, because of COURSE I’m going back to Wal-Mart, I’m steering my shopping cart with the bum wheel straight to Customer Service and they are going to do my hunting for me. Until they catch on and ban me from the store.

Sunday afternoon I decorated my Christmas tree. It’s a new tree with the lights already strung on the tree, so I was really looking forward to NOT stringing lights this year. I got the tree put together and plugged in the lights and they were beautiful. The bottom third, anyway. The ones that WORK. The top third of the tree has no working lights. I decorated it anyway and it looks great in the daytime when it’s not plugged in. Screw it. I’m tired.

4 comments:

Elaine said...

Girl, you sound sassy tonight! I too hate WalMart. Lucky me, I live in a huge town and have options, but I feel for those of you stuck in WM land. They really are an agent of the devil.

And I'm sure your tree is STUNNING. In the light or dark. Just tell people it was a choice... it speaks to the artistic void thrust upon America by the cultureless masses. See, you can spin anything and yes, I did use to work in PR.

MWAH!

Angela in Europe said...

I LOVE Wal-Mart, especially now that I don't have one anywhere in my country of residence!!! I would gladly put up with all that s@!t just to have one here.

candee said...

I feel quite certain that when Maxine either retires, or dies, you can fer shure do her job!!!!

irene said...

I've of course never been to WM, but I can so relate to those bad shopping days. and I'm sure your tree looks great. think about mine and it will make you feel better, I'm sure!