Wednesday, August 16, 2006

How About A Joke Instead Of Anything Worthwhile?

Still not much going on here. I met with my advisor today and he's great. He's the assistant director of the program and he was very helpful. Not only did he answer all of my questions, he put me at ease and offered some suggestions regarding my areas of interest, so I was very pleased. So far, everyone I've met has been friendly and helpful. No complaints.

My cousin, Rebekah, sends me tons and tons of jokes every day and this one was particularly appropriate, since I'm no longer an Arkansan. Well, technically I'm not, but you'd never know by my Suuuuthern Drawl.

Things I learned living in ARKANSAS:

1. Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in ARKANSAN.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in ARKANSAN plus a couple no one's seen before.
4. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.
5. Onced and twiced are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy.
7. Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.
8. People actually grow and eat okra.
9. "Fixinto" is one word.
10. There is no such thing as "lunch." There is only dinner and then there is supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two.
12. "Backards and forwards" means "I know everything about you."
13. "Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
14. You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM ARKANSAN IF:

1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
3. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: "I'm fixing to go to the store."
4. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
5. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
6. You know what a "DAWG" is.
7. You carry jumper cables in your car...for your OWN car.
8. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.
9. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
10. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
11. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."
12. You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer and Christmas.
13. You know whether another ARKIE is from the north or south as soon as they open their mouth.
14. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as "goin' Wal-martin" or "off to Wally World."
15. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto bean weather.
16. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop; it's a Coke. Example: "You want a coke?" "Yeah." "What kind?" "Dr. Pepper."
17. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
18. We don't need no stinking driver's ed....if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.

Not EVERYONE can be an ARKIE, it's an art form and a gift from God!

4 comments:

Nicole said...

I used the verb "fixinto" the other day. It just slipped out! I almost clapped my hands over my mouth in surprise.

I think I have officially been in the South too long.

Angela in Europe said...

I can honestly say I haven't used the word "fixinto" for more than a year. Nicole, there is hope! I am a reformed user.

Anonymous said...

vanessa! i think the entire thing is about me!!!
Princess

Emily Merrell said...

hey, okra is good!!!!!!!