I've been looking at Craigslist a lot lately, mainly searching for a desk for my future office, but also to waste time that I should be spending cleaning closets or something. Anyway, under the "Rants" section in my local Craigslist, I've been reading a topic called "Weird Neighbors," which is hilarious. The best entry I've read so far is this one, and I promise I copied it exactly as it was posted, only I added some paragraph breaks for clarity. This person should be a writer:
Ours is Earl - not exactly a neighbor, but up the road a bit.
Earl lives in 2 trailers, parked up next to each other so that the back door of one is at the front door of the other. (?)
Earl got a head injury a few years ago because he fell down a staircase that wasn't there while working on a house under construction.
He caught himself on fire one time using gasoline in the wood stove.
He doesn't have running water.
Women actually live with him sometimes.
He had a yard sale that has been there so long, we now tell people to just drive on past the flea market.
He leaves his laundry on the line for weeks at a time. I suppose that's how he washes it.
You can see where all the junk is in the yard, he mows around it, including the old broken down mower.
Earl is our local meth head/alcoholic but we know when he's gotten clean because there is a giant piece of plywood painted with "Jesus Loves You" out in the yard sometimes. He generally gets clean after a jail stint. He's using again when it's gone.
Earl is the nicest person in the world. He'd give you the shirt off his back, if you should want it.