Saturday, July 22, 2006

Pathetically Optimistic

I haven’t been home much lately; trying to squeeze in all the family I can before the move. While at dinner one night last week, my brother, Don, mentioned that he was flying to Venezuela on Sunday, August 6. He’s already promised me he was going to help me move on August 5 and now he tells me he’s got to catch a flight from Memphis at noon on 8/6. There’s no way he can help me move the six-hour drive up to Columbia, MO and then make a flight the next day in Memphis, unless he doesn’t plan to sleep. Of course, he made his travel plans after he’d promised to help me move, knowing all of the above information. I don’t know why he couldn’t just come out and say, “I won’t be able to help you move, dear sister, because I’m going out of the country at that time.” Of course, that would be the sensible way, and so non-passive-agressive, which is not his way. So, luckily, I have a spare brother who is willing to help me make the move. You know the thing about family is, no matter how much you want to choke them sometimes, you still love them. And yes, I’ll miss my brother, Don, even though he’s pissing me off right now. And Venezuela?? Alone?? I’m trying not to worry about him going to S. America alone with no hotel reservations and very little knowledge of the Spanish language. His Ph.D is in philosophy, not common sense.

Last week, at one of Reece’s baseball games, Dawn revealed to me why Emily’s been acting as if I’m no longer on the planet. (She’s been ignoring me for the past couple of months and it’s been upsetting me terribly, but I’ve been thinking she was just becoming a typical preteen.) Anyway, Dawn told me that Emily has been thinking that I would forget her once I moved away. Bless her heart. All this time she’s been hurting and I’ve been hurting and we haven’t communicated and lost all that time we could have been spending together! We quickly patched it up over tears at the ballgame and then she spent a couple of days with me over the weekend and all is well. I, however, have turned into a huge baby and cry every time I think about leaving Emily and Reece. Up to this point, I have been in denial about leaving them, and I have deduced that denial is WAY better than reality.

Later today, I’m driving Emily, Reece, Dave, and Dawn to Memphis to catch a flight to LA, where they’re going to be vacationing for the next ten days. They’re going to have a great time and I’m so excited for them! I have to get all of my packing finished during that time so that the three days after their return I can spend it hanging out with the niece and nephew.

Auntie Linda has decided that she’s going to move with me. She’s actually going to help me move, along with my mom and brother, and she offered to stay with me for a few days after the move. Good Lord. I don’t know who’s the bigger baby: Linda or I. We cry and hug all the time. We are pathetic.

I am pathetic right now.

However, I am trying to be optimistic.


Miz S said...

Aw, Vanessa. I'm feeling your pain here. This is going to be so hard, sounds like it's the smart thing to do for your future. And at least you'll have your internet friends still in the same place!

Irene said...

you're such a great aunt Vanessa, I'm glad things are better with Emily now.