How To Enjoy Christmas Break

It’s been too long, way too long, I know! Lately, every time I planned to sit down and write, something would come up and I’d get distracted and I think that’s a good excuse for not posting anything sooner, right? Let me give you any even better excuse: the “Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency” TV show on the Oxygen channel and its marathon running yesterday afternoon!!! I swear, I spent at least four hours yesterday watching that crap and could not take my eyes away from the television. Why didn’t someone tell me about this show sooner? I hate anything remotely close to being reality TV, but this is different. It’s unreality TV and it’s hilarious. Janice Dickinson is an absolute loon and her “models” are a bunch of anorexic, spoiled brats who are always late to their shoots and I promise you, it’s a laugh a minute. So, try to watch it if you get the opportunity.

In other news, well, let me think.

Auntie Linda came up and spent New Year’s Eve with me and stayed for a few days and we had a great time and I now know that eating cheese dip and pecan pie and drinking magaritas will make your pants fit very, very snug. Who knew?

I’m definitely making the most of my time off from school, huh? I still have the rest of this week and next Monday off (not from work, but from school, so it’s still a holiday) and I’m planning to go to Arkansas on Saturday and return home next Monday. Classes begin next Tuesday and it’ll be busy as hell from then until May. I’m getting nothing accomplished and I’m thoroughly enjoying it.

Now, I need to get back to reading and watching reruns of bad TV. I’ll be back later this week!!

And Then Reality Sinks In

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurting-- even the mouse.

The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.

Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor, while
Upstairs the family continued to snore.

And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
Went into the kitchen and started to clean.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.

The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket said "U.S. POSTMAN."

With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox,
Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.

Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:

"Now Dillard's, now Broadway's, now Penney's and Sears
Here's Levitz's and Target's and Mervyn's -- all here!!

To the tip or your limit, every store, every mall,
Now chargeaway-chargeaway-chargeaway all!"

He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work.
He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.

He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
Driving much faster with just half a load.

Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
"ENJOY WHAT YOU GOT ... YOU'LL BE PAYING ALL YEAR!"


---many thanks to Cousin Candee.

I'm Dreaming Of A Beige Christmas

I've seen all the snow I want to see for another year. I mean it. I absolutely will not accept any more frozen precipitation.

I told Emily I would post an entry tonight, so now I'm obligated. I'm leaving Saturday morning to go home for Christmas and I'm so excited! I've got all my shopping finished, got all the gifts wrapped, and finally put away the mess, so now I can relax.

Had a great weekend. Saturday I went shopping with my friend, Dawn. She's really a sweetie. We had such a good time. The weather was wonderful and all the shops downtown were full of happy people and we ate a great lunch, then we went to see The Queen and yes! it was as good as all the reviews. Helen Mirren was Queen Elizabeth. The acting was superb all around, but I don't see it winning Best Picture. I'd see it again, though, just for the settings and the acting, and if you get the chance, don't miss it.

Sunday night my friend Sandy's husband cooked dinner for us and we had a great time watching him do all the work. He baked a ham and cornbread and even make mashed potatoes from real potatoes. I'd forgotten that they don't have to come from a box. Sandy has a couple of really cute little boys that are close in age to Reece, which made me miss him even more. When I was getting ready to leave their house, we were talking about food and I said that I loved ham and all things pork, especially bacon, and Sandy's husband said, "Oh, Sandy, I'm so glad you have a friend who likes bacon." Sandy, you got funny hubby. You keep him.

Reece is going to see Charlotte's Web tomorrow during school (what a great deal that is) but he told me that he would probably be willing to see it again with me over the holiday break. I'm dying to see it. That's one of my favorite stories.

Got my grades; made two As and one B. I simply could not have made an A in managment class. The instructor nitpicked my papers to death, so I didn't stand a chance for an A. I'm just happy to have one semester over!

If I don't post anymore this week, then you guys know I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas, or whatever holiday you celebrate. I love you all!!!

Vanessa

Some Thoughts That Popped Into My Head This Afternoon While I Was Writing A Paper

I wonder if figure skating is on TV today.

Does Abby need food? Okay, she’s sleeping soundly right now, but I still should get up and check her bowl. And while I’m up, I could pour myself a diet coke. Or some coffee.

You know what would really be good? Some green tea. But, all my mugs are in the dishwasher. I could wash one by hand, but I’m too busy writing this paper to take the time to wash a stinking mug right now. Geez!

Who wrote the first dictionary?

How did language begin?

I should have become a linguist.

I really hate it when someone says “gonna.” It’s not a word, but, I hear it all the time.

And “probably” has THREE syllables.

Why am I such a bitch?

I can write a paper and watch TV at the same time, sure!

No, I can’t.

I really need to take a break and iron my pants. I hate ironing.

I need some new pants.

I wonder when my library books are due. I need to check online and see.

I need some Advil.

I’d better make a list of everything I need to do over the next month.

I need to find a new dentist.

I’m tired of new. I didn’t realize how much, or how comfortable, familiarity is. I have been out of my comfort zone for so long, I’ve forgotten what it’s like.

I need a cookie.

And another one.

I should eat more fruit.

I’m going to start going to the gym after the New Year.

I say that every year.

More Talk of Snow

We had the "Snow of the Decade" on Friday, so I stayed in all weekend. I'd missed most of work last week even before the snow due to the worst sinus/bronchial infection I've had in ages. I was happy to be back among the living today, but the drive to work and home today was horrenodus. Never seen snow like this, evah, evah, said Miss Scarlett.

So, anyway, back to the week being homebound. I didn't have to do any schoolwork, so I lounged around and watched the We station, not the WE, but some chic station, that was having "Royal Weekend" all weekend and they played forty-eight hours of royalty, British of course. It was great! And, when I needed a break from that, there were Harry Potter movies playing, too. It was the best lazy, stay-in-out-of-the-cold, weekend you can imagine!

Speaking of royalty, if one of my local theatres does not show The Queen pretty soon, I'm going to have to hurt someone.

Forget Everything Negative I Ever Said About Summer

Big, Big, Big Snow! This southern doggie is not enjoying it in the least. We're sort of confused about what all this bright, cold stuff is! And what is its purpose? We're just not sure! And danged if it doesn't make our feet really, really cold.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thank you. Thank you very much.
Originally uploaded by Aunt Vanessa.

FINALLY

Getting to go home. I haven't seen the darling kids since the first of August. I hope I recognize them. I'm staying at my mom's and we have all sorts of things planned for the next four days. I'll be back to report soon.

Have a good time and eat lots of good stuff - it's all calorie- and fat-free on holidays, so don't you fret none about that.

xoxo

Vanessa

My Antisocial Self

So much to do around here, but I needed a break before I hit the paper-writing tonight. Paper's due at midnight tomorrow, so I have plenty of time.

We had two social functions at work today. First, we had a Thanksgiving luncheon. Our entire building, the Alumni Center, gathered for lunch and I've never seen so much good food. I think I tried twenty items and that doesn't include the desserts. I sat next to Lisa, our newest employee in my department, and I found out that she is addicted to blogs! I should NEVER have told her about mine, of course, but she'd find it anyway, so "Hi, Lisa!" We laughed at ourselves about how we know so much about people's lives by reading their blogs.

At 3:00 we had a social function at the head of University Affairs house and it was one of those things that you get an invitation to, with an R.S.V.P., and yet it's mandatory. I don't like that. Why don't they just say, outright, that you are required to attend? Anyway, it wasn't too bad, but I only allowed myself a half glass of wine, since I have to write a paper tonight. Oh, and the food was good, so basically, I ate and socialized all day and don't have to do that again until next year.

I've been riding to work all week with my coworker, Dawn, because my car is in such sad shape it's too awful to discuss, but we've had a good time getting to know each other. She even made some doggie treats and gave them to me for Abby. (I'll write more about the car and how I got screwed by the repair people later.)

Do any of you guys own a pair of Dansko clogs? If so, do you love them? Another coworker (I'm learning so much at work!) has a couple of pairs and they're all she ever wears. She loves them and tells me that they are worth the money.

I don't want to get to work on this paper, can you tell?

The Final Installment of "The Car Woes Saga"

I had to take my car to the mechanic's this morning at 8:00 for them to check it and find the leak. It's got some sort of leak of transmission fluid, which makes it slip out of drive and into neutral while I'm at a stop light, and it's very irritating. So, I took the car in and waited for over an hour to find out that I'd have to leave the car all day. Of course. I was talking to the guy at the place and Emily called, so when I left the place, I called her back and we talked the entire time I was walking home, which was about three miles. I actually wanted to walk; it is cold and sunny and that's the only condition in which I enjoy walking outside. I don't like to sweat anymore. Must be something to do with getting older, but I absolutely hate being hot these days. Winter cold weather: bring it on. Anyway, back to Emily, she and her family are driving to Branson, MO this morning and asked me to drive down and meet them, but they didn't extend the invitation until this morning, as I was walking home, hence CARLESS, so I won't be making a trip to see them. Thanksgiving weekend is coming up, so I'm not terribly upset about missing an opportunity to see Emily and Reece. Emily told me all about the school dance she'd attended last night and how much fun it was, and then I talked to Reece a little about our plans for Thanksgiving weekend. They are both happy and healthy and smart and perfect kids. Yeah, I sort of love them.

I was reading at the mechanic's this morning and I think my taste in literature is tainted forever. I don't seem to enjoy simple, straightforward fiction like this anymore. It's just too predictable and doesn't challenge its reader. I loved the shit out of this one, however! This is only the second one of his works I've read, but now I must read them all. For my love of weird, difficult literature, I blame one of my professors for teaching a fascinating course on postmodernism. We read all sorts of stuff from writers around the globe and it really opened my mind to the offbeat.

I now must return to writing a paper. I have two due next week and I need to make some progress. That, and I have more "Curb Your Enthusiasm" I want to watch tonight. I love Netfix!

Hodge Podge of Stuff

Now I know all two of you were holding your breath today waiting for me to post the sequel to the car trouble story. It's just entirely too boring to go into detail, but I'll say that I had more car trouble and hopefully it's fixed now and I don't have to put any more money into it, nor bum a ride from one of my coworkers.

Have you seen any good movies lately? I haven't been to the movies since I moved, primarily because there's not been anything released I've really wanted to see, except for "The Queen," which STILL isn't playing at any of the theatres here. I'm dying to see it and have already planned to buy it the nanosecond it's released on DVD. I also want to see "Babel" when it's released. Kate Blanchett's one of my favorites, and you can't go wrong with a little luscious Brad Pitt, and I read that he is wonderful in the movie. But then, who really cares if the boy can act?

I got my hair cut tonight after work. I've been going to Marka for ten years, and that was one thing I was really fretting over, trying to find a new hair stylist, but I think I found the "one" with Gina. My hair looks so good and it feels great. She put some really good products on it, and as soon as I run out of my old stuff, I'm going to buy some of her mousse, gel, and everything else she used. The only problem with Gina is that she talks nonstop. My appointment was at 5:45 tonight and I didn't leave the place until 7:15. Yikes. She did, however, take several minutes to talk to me about my hair before she washed it, and I got the feeling that she knew what she was talking about, so I guess I can suffer the stories about her husband, three children, best friend, new pastor, mother, father, mother-in-law...you get my point...to get a good haircut. Plus, she's lived here in Columbia all her life and gave me good directions to some places I haven't been yet. So, I'll tolerate the yakety yak yak and just plan to go on Saturdays from now on.

I'm starting a new book tonight, so gotta run!

P.S. When I did spell check, the recommended replacement word for "yakety" was "yeasty" - hee hee.

The Trouble With Cars Is...

Did I mention that I've been having a little car trouble lately? A couple of weeks ago, I had filled up with gas and got back in my car and it wouldn't start. Thank goodness for Cingular's Roadside Assistance. I called them and they had help to me in twenty minutes. And, the first thing they asked me was, "Are you in a safe location?" I appreciated that. So, the tow truck guy checked the battery and said it was fine and told me it was the starter and he'd have to tow my car. I got to ride up front with him in his tow truck, since I didn't know anyone to call here in my brand new home. I was thinking, "what the hell did I go and move away from home for?" By the time we got the car to the auto repair place, it was almost 6:30 p.m. and of course they couldn't look at the car until the next day, but when they did, they told me it needed a new battery. Again with the "what the hell?" It seems as if every single time I have car trouble and I have to deal with more than one man about it, I get conflicting diagnoses. It definitely was the battery, because I had it replaced and it starts fine. I will say thanks, however, to tow truck guy for bringing me home that night. But that's all. He was a dumbass about my car and he should have known better.

Oh, and it was funny, I'm sure, seeing me try to heave myself up into the tow truck.

Tomorrow: Part II of the Car Trouble Saga...stay tuned!

A Little TEEVEE Talk

I was pretty bored a couple of weeks ago, so I signed up for Netflix. Bored, and the nearest movie rental place has a poor selection. Over the weekend I finished watching Season Four of "Curb Your Enthusiasm." Can't wait for Season Five to arrive now. I laughed out loud for three hours. If you've never seen this HBO series, you owe it to yourself to rent the DVDs, beginning with the first season. I have a cousin who didn't like "Seinfeld" (can you imagine?) yet loves "Curb" so don't let the fact that it's written by the "Seinfeld" creator turn you off to it, unless, of course, you just don't have a sense of humor. I think it's the funniest TV show I've ever seen.

My adorable friend, Mary, recommends "The Wire," which is a crime/drama series that's also by HBO. The first season's DVDs are in my Netflix queue, so I'm excited to get to watch them soon. I'm also looking forward to the last season of the Sopranos. Talk about funny. Yeah, a murderous mafia series that's so over-the-top you just have to laugh your head off at least once an episode. I'm so in love with the show, I've searched for articles about it and read extensively about the series. Yeah, I am a little obsessed.

As for network television, I haven't found much I like to watch anymore. I do watch Nip/Tuck every week, and think it's another over-the-top show that makes me laugh. It doesn't even pretend to be real, which is why I like it so much. Nevermind the fact that Julian McMahon is the prettiest man ever to breathe on this sweet earth, oh yes, sister he is. Just go HERE and look and then tell me what you think.

I really need to stop now and get to work. I'm supposed to be writing a paper on digital libraries. Anyone know what a digital library actually is???

Just Doesn't Feel Like Friday To Me

Friday; woohoo! Three more weeks until I see Emily and Reece. I'm going through withdrawal. Seriously, I have a sick feeling in my stomach because I miss them so much. They sent me Halloween cards this week and enclosed recent photos and I think they have both grown a couple of inches since I last saw them in August.

I'm taking two classes online, and one "face-to-face" class, which meets about once a month on Tuesday night. Not a bad schedule, except for one of the online classes, which requires we meet twice this semester on a Saturday from 9 to 3. You guessed it - tomorrow is the second Saturday class. There are about 20 students in my class and one of them, Sandy, is becoming a friend, but I still don't want to go. Except that Sandy and I get to have lunch together. I always enjoy that. But other than that, it's a total bore of a day and by 1:00 I'm squirming in my chair and ready to scream.

So, that's it for Friday. I'm getting ready to heat some of that delicious soup I mentioned a couple of days ago. Might add a slice to cheese toast to the menu tonight. Then, I'm going to read a chapter in library management and watch a movie. This is so boring, I'm going to have to have a glass of wine just to get through it!

Sometimes It Takes A While To Get To The Point

Two days in row, I know. Staggering, isn't it?

I had planned to write about my favorite TV shows, but I have something funny to tell you, so I'll save the TV entry for later. Since I've declared I'm going to blog more often, I'm going to have to start hoarding ideas.

Anyway, it's not cool to blog about work, I know, and I won't bore you with it, usually, but today's an exception. The mail comes to our department around 9:30 every morning, and I sort it and distribute it. After all, what else should someone with a master's and another in progress be doing with her time? My boss, Linda, received a Harry & David catalog, you know, the one with the gorgeous-looking pears and chocolates and all those adorable gift boxes. When I handed it to her, I said something witty like, "You've got a new Harry & David here." And she looked at it and began a thirty-minute story about a particular incident when her husband was driving along and got extremely dizzy, and started vomiting all over the place and had to pull into a parking lot and honked his horn...long story short...he ended up in the emergency room and it was determined that he had a severe inner-ear infection. As she was telling this story, I made the usual concerned looks with my face and added a few "Oh, no, how awfuls" just to stay awake mostly, but all the while I was wondering what the hell this story had to do with her new Harry & David catalog! After she finished, she said, "So, anyway, after W-- got better, I sent the ER doctor a basket of food from Harry & David."

Ohhh...

Made my morning.

When In Doubt, Blog About FOOD

Regarding this blog, I've been trying to decide whether to keep posting or just simply let it go, since I've been so terribly negligent, and today I knew I either had to swim or get out of the pool (I was going to say "Shit, or get off the pot" but Emily doesn't like it when I say "shit," so I'm not going to say that) and I decided I would SWIM. So, regardless of how boring my life actually is right now, I'm going to post more often and if I bore the absolute crap out of you, then I'm sorry. But you have to read it. That's an order. All five of you who read this blog, that is.

I think the reason I have such a difficult time posting is because this is a BLOG, which, in my opinion, should be truthful. And I'm better at writing fiction. I have never told even a scrap of a lie on this blog and I won't. However, it's a lot more fun to make shit up.

Halloween came and went with little to no excitement. A couple of dear coworkers brought their leftover candy to work today and we all acted like a bunch of second-graders and there was scarcely a piece of candy left by 4:30 today. Have you guys tried the new Reese's crunch bars or whatever they're called? They are so good. You have the peanut butter and chocolate, and then you have a layer of crunchy goodness in there somewhere and it's just a delight to your mouth when you take a bite. Way better than a Kit Kat.

I just finished eating a bowl of soup. And you thought this was going to be a boring post. Shame on you for thinking that. This is the best and easiest soup recipe and you should try it. You'll thank me for it. Dawn makes it quite often and Reece and Emily love it. It's a Weight Watchers' recipe, except I improvise some, and it's one of those recipes you'll adapt to your own tastes. So, here it is:

1 can of turkey chili w/beans (I use Hormel)
1 can of turkey chili w/out beans
1 can of whole kernel corn
1 can of sliced carrots
1 can of sliced potatoes
1 can of mixed vegetables, like Veg All
1 can of Campbell's Old Fashioned Vegetable Soup

I had a half of a bag of frozen green beans, so I added them to the pot.
I also drained the corn, carrots, and potatoes, then added a couple of cans of water, you'll know how much water by looking at it. That's it. Just heat it and leave it on Low for an hour or so and then enjoy. It's even better the next day. I also put some of it in the freezer in individual containers for later. You wouldn't believe how good this soup is! And I hardly ever used canned food, but this is really deeeelish. You're welcome!

Tomorrow: my favorite TV shows! Can you handle all this fun???

Love you guys!

Reece caught a big one!

Reece 10-7-06
Originally uploaded by Aunt Vanessa.

Reece made a special request that I post this photo on my blog. I think he's quite proud of his catch. And yes, he caught it; he's not just holding it. Good work, little nephew! I posted a few more of both little darlings on Flickr so go take a look.

7th grade volleyball

Volleyball 7th Grade 10-06
Originally uploaded by Aunt Vanessa.

I love this photo of Emily. Yes, volleyball is over for the year, and so is softball, so now it's on to basketball. Good luck, sweet Emily!

Rainy Days and Mondays

Whenever I go to Half.com’s website, or Amazon’s, the page I see on my monitor shows items I should be interested in purchasing due to their relationship to items I’ve previously purchased. I just clicked on Amazon to look up some information on a book and it was covered with books about bipolarism. They must have me mistaken for someone else in my family. Or they know something I don’t know. I have, indeed, been off the antidepressants for over four months now and I feel fine. Not gloriously happy, but well enough to not feel the need to take meds anymore.

Last weekend, not this past weekend, but the one before, my mom and Auntie Linda and Roxy came for a visit. We had such a good time. The weather was beautiful and Roxy didn’t poop in my shoe this time and we found The Chocolate Factory and what else could we have wanted from a short weekend?

I am quite homesick. Not for Arkansas, but for a couple of really cute kids who live there and call me Aunt. Emily’s so busy that I only get to talk to her about every seven or eight days, and Reece is almost as busy. I can’t wait for Thanksgiving break. Those poor kids are going to have me hugging and kissing on them until it’s past the point of ridiculous.

It’s cold and rainy here and I’m tucked into my blanket, sipping coffee, and feeling ever so cozy. I want to stay this way forever.

Book Talk

Here's my latest bedtime readings:

Edith Wharton's tragic story

This new one that I absolutely loved. It's written in strictly narrative form and the speaker is one big crazy nut of a woman and I love her.

A Vietnam War novel. I took a Vietnam War lit class as an undergrad, then one in grad school and I'm so hooked on this war. I read everything I can about it. This is a highly-praised novel, but not as good as Tim O'Brien's two about the war.

I started this crazy novel a couple of days ago. It reminds me a lot of Barry Hannah's writing and oddly enough the writer doesn't claim to have been influenced by Hannah.

Next up is Ward Just's newest. Never read him, but this one looked like a good one.

What's everyone else reading?